Where the Wisteria Lie
by one hundred zeros
Summary: Ten years after Sai left, Hikaru begins to dream of the Heian era, and of Sai's last days. Determined to prove that his teacher had been greatest Go player in history, Hikaru never expected the truth about the greatest lie he was ever told.
1. Asphodel

**1. ****Asphodel ****[****日光兰****]**

_The wooden floorboards were smooth beneath his feet, the autumn air clear and cold. In the distance there was the sound of a flute ringing out across the deep blue skies, and somewhere on his left there were voices talking behind a drawn shoji screen, too faint for him to hear anything._

Where am I? _Hikaru __wondered._

_It was still spring in Japan, the sakura had only just began to bloom, but here the reddened leaves were already slowly falling, like butterflies fluttering to the ground on their crimson and gold and vermillion wings._

_He did not recognize the place. Did not recognize the low gray stone wall curving around the garden or the beautiful pond with its red bridges and smooth stepping stones._

Where am I? _He __thought __again. __It __all __seemed __very... __old. __Looking __down, __he __saw __his __own __white __robes, __and __suddenly, __unbidden, __the __memory __of __Sai __resurfaced, __sharp __and __clear l__ike __he __had __not __remembered __in __a __long __time._

'_Sai...?' he called softly. 'Sai?'_

_There was no reply, not that he had been expecting one, but Hikaru could not help the faint disappointment he felt. It had been many, many years, but even now, he still went on foolishly hoping._

_Taking a few steps out into the garden, he felt the cold wind on his face, out of season and strange. 'I am an idiot,' he said to himself. This is a dream._

_He paused, waiting for an answer that never came. Then softly, he asked again, tentatively, 'Sai?'_

_Sai...?_

* * *

><p>'Shindou- Shindou!'<p>

Turning around, Hikaru was surprised to see Akira running after him.

'What is it?' he asked, stifling a yawn. It had been a long day, and they had been practicing with the other pros since morning and Hikaru now felt like he could have fallen asleep standing up.

'Don't give me that!' the other snapped. 'What was wrong with you today?' Akira asked, green eyes flashing with anger. 'You lost by five, Shindou! Five!'

Hikaru internally winced, remembering the terrible game he had just played. 'It's only five,' he said, trying to appear nonchalant about it.

'Just five?' It took all of Akira's impeccable self control not to violently hit the other on his head. 'When was the last time you lost by five, Shindou? Five _years_ ago?'

That was not even funny, but Hikaru chose not to tell Akira that. There were things worse than his rival's sarcasm. 'Well, things happen.'

'You were playing against Ochi, Shindou. Ochi! You beat him when you became an insei!'

'So _what,_ Touya?' Hikaru asked, feeling his own patience fray. 'Like I said, things happen. Do not presume to order me around - not everyone can be like you.'

Akira glared back at him. 'It is not about whether or not I am ordering you around - you _know _that, Shindou. Do you think that just because you have lost this round those other players will be surprised? That you would lose your reputation or Ochi would be happy?'

'What is your point, Touya?'

'My point, Shindou,' the other boy replied, sounding more than exasperated, 'is that what you just did is only going to be seen as a humiliation for Ochi. No one will believe that you lost by five just because things happened. They would think you were taking pity on Ochi, giving him an easy win, or simply looking down on him.'

'That's not true,' Hikaru replied immediately.

Akira sighed. _'__I _know it is not true, Shindou, but the others don't. You have to be serious when you are playing.'

'Like you?'

There was a pause, then, 'Why are you so defensive today, Shindou? That is not like you at all.'

'What is like me then, Touya? What were you expecting?' Hikaru was surprised to find himself glaring. He so rarely lost his temper nowadays, he and Akira hardly even argued anymore.

The other's gaze flickered. 'That was not what I meant, Shindou,' he said. 'I just... wondered if maybe something happened.' His voice was flat, but underneath it, there was now an unmistakable hint of concern.

Hikaru suddenly felt extremely guilty for having been so unreasonable, especially since Akira had always found it difficult to express himself and was sincerely trying to care. 'I'm tired, that's all,' he answered truthfully and a little apologetically.

'Have you not been sleeping well?' Akira looked worried, his earlier anger having disappeared as quickly as it had come.

'No. Yes, well, I don't know.'

Akira's expression turned quizzical. 'Are you sure you are alright? Do you want to take a break for a few days? There won't be any major tournaments for a while, it should not be a problem.'

Hikaru shook his head. 'It's fine, Touya, but thank you for your concern all the same. I just need some sleep.'

'Well, if you're sure,' Akira hesitated. 'Would you like a lift home?'

Hikaru felt himself smile despite himself. 'Your games are not over yet, Touya - stay. My house is not that far from here, I will be just fine on my own.' He paused, then added, 'Tell Ochi I'm sorry, please?'

'But you aren't, not really.' Akira tried to sound stern, but the effect was quite ruined by the amusement in his voice.

Hikaru laughed. 'Maybe.' He turned to leave. 'See you tomorrow,' he called over his shoulder.

'See you,' Akira replied.

There was a moment of silence and Hikaru thought that maybe the other had already left, but just as he was about to step out the door, he suddenly heard an unexpected question.

'Hikaru... Is this about Sai?'

He stopped, suddenly finding it so much harder to speak. 'I don't know,' he answered quietly, voice trembling ever so slightly.

There was the sound of a step behind him. 'I really am fine, Akira,' he said.

_Besides,_ _you __would __not __understand._

* * *

><p><em>He was there again. This time, the trees were only just turning red, and the wind against his face was a little warmer.<em>

'_Follow me,' a voice was saying._

_Blinking, Hikaru saw a young man standing before him, dressed in simple blue robes._

'_Where are we going?' he asked, but the other did not reply. It was almost as though he had not even been heard._

'_His Majesty is looking forward to the game, Fujiwara-sama,' the young man said. 'He may not show it, but I think he much prefers your teachings.'_

_Hikaru felt his eyes widen. Fujiwara? Sai? He looked down at himself. Was he Sai? Indeed, the whites robes he wore were familiar, but was that not what everyone during the Heian era dressed in?_

'_You flatter me,' Hikaru heard himself say. 'Skill is what matters after all.'_

'_But having a skill and being able to impart it are very different things, Fujiwara-sama.'_

'_Perhaps so. Yet His Majesty has a quick mind after all, he would wish to be able to learn more from his instructors.'_

_There was a soft laugh. 'You are a kind person, Fujiwara-sama. Anyone would like you better.'_

'_That is not for you or I to say.' The words were just so ever slightly chiding. 'I think the way it is now is good enough.' He smiled. 'If it could just stay like this forever, I would be content.'_

_Hikaru heard the wistfulness in the tone, the quiet longing for peace. Yes, this was Sai. Gentle, warm-hearted Sai who never knew what was to come._

Is it your intention to show me this? _He __wondered __silently __to __a __Sai __who __was __no l__onger __there. _But why now? Why after so many years? Just when I have begun to forget?

_He looked down at the fan in his hand, remembering what Sai had told him when they had first met. The game which had taken from Sai his life. The game which had given Hikaru his Go and his world._

What are you trying to tell me, Sai? Just what, _he __thought, _do you want me to see?

_Ahead of him, the young man stopped before a partially opened shoji screen and bowed. 'Fujiwara-sama has arrived, your Majesty.'_

_There was a pause, then, 'Show him in.'_

_The room was wood paneled, bright from the light coming in from the doors that were opened out towards the gardens. The King himself sat behind a lowered silk screen, his features well hidden. Standing just before the screen was another man, his back turned to Sai and the messenger._

'_I bid my leave, Your Majesty,' he was saying, 'now that Fujiwara-dono has arrived.'_

_Hikaru did not like the way the man spat out Sai's name as though it was something bitter in his mouth. Instinctively, he knew who that person was, and had he been able to, Hikaru knew he would have shouted at the other and possibly even tried to hit him for what he had done to Sai._

_But as it was, there was nothing Hikaru could do. He could only watch as Sai calmly came to stand next to the man and bowed. From the peripherals of his vision, Hikaru saw that the unpleasant courtier had a sharp beard, his thin lips twisting into an unpleasant smile as he looked at Sai._

_As he moved to leave, the man very blatantly took an unnecessary step to the right and rudely bumped into Sai, almost pushing him over._

'_Oh, my apologies,' he hastily bowed, the smirk never leaving his face. 'I must not have seen you there.'_

_Sai very calmly returned the bow, giving no indication of being affronted. 'It is quite alright.'_

'_Teach the lesson well, Fujiwara-dono,' the man said as he left. 'After all, that is really the only thing you can do. In a real game against me, you would lose without my even trying.'_

_Hikaru glared, never having felt so angered in his life. He wanted to kill this man, maim him for the mockery he had just made of Sai. Sai did not deserve this. Sai never deserved this! Sai was greater than he could ever be._

_The courtier was laughing even as he walked away, his words echoing unpleasantly even long after he had left._

Sai will win, _Hikaru __thought __vehemently. _Had you played honorably, Sai would surely have won against someone like you.

_Distantly, he heard Sai apologizing to the King for having caused such a disturbance, his apology being quickly waved aside in favor of starting the game. The King, at least, did not seem to be much troubled by what had just happened, setting it aside as though it was nothing more than a common occurrence._

_Hikaru found that he no longer cared, though, because he knew what it was that he was going to do now. He knew why Sai had chosen to show him this after so many years._

I will watch that game, Sai, _he __thought, _I will watch it, and then after it is over I will find every single way that man could have lost even had he cheated. I will prove that you are the greatest Go player, Sai, even if to no one other than myself.

He will lose without my even trying...

* * *

><p>my regrets follow you to your grave [end]<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The idea for the flowers really came from this one random thing I read which mentioned how the symbol of the Fujiwara clan was a Wisteria flower, symbolizing honor, memory, longevity and victory over hardship amongst many other things. All very fitting descriptions of Sai, was what I thought then.**

**On a side note, I have not delved into this fandom for a long time. Some terms might be off, and I offer my apologies beforehand. Do drop me a review for suggestions and/or any mistakes I might have made.**

**Dedicated to Ferrero13 who is still into this fandom. You have my admiration.**

**Se-kari**


	2. Delphinium

**2. Delphinium [****飞燕****]**

'I heard you lost to Ochi yesterday?' Waya asked, the moment he, Shindou and Isumi met up as usual for their lunch break. Today, they were at an under 16 tournament, invited there to take a look by the event organizers. 'I never thought that would happen,' he laughed.

Hikaru sighed. 'Don't start, Waya. Touya has already given me a lecture about it yesterday.'

'He did?' Isumi sounded surprised. 'Whatever for? It was not as though you _really _lost.'

Waya shrugged and did half a spin mid-step. 'Well, I suppose our prodigy just did not realize that Hikaru was giving Ochi a handicap by playing without komi. It happens sometimes, when people would miss the _most _obvious things when angry.' Then lowering his voice conspiratorially, he added teasingly, 'I always knew thinking about Go too much would get to his head one day.'

'Waya!' Isumi cried, exasperation on his face at how impolite his friend could be. 'You shouldn't say things like that!'

'Well, it is probably the truth,' Waya grinned, stopping at a vending machine for juice.

'Touya knew.'

He blinked, surprised at the sudden statement, hand still halfway raised to the blinking juice button. 'What was that, Shindou?'

Hikaru shook his head. 'Nothing.' Then sensing that his friends were not very convinced, he looked up and forced a smile. 'Really, I was just thinking about something else.'

Waya frowned. 'Are you sure, Shindou? Because that didn't sound like _something else_ to me.'

'Yeah. I'm sure,' Hikaru said absently and Isumi shot him a worried glance.

There was a pause, during which Waya got himself a can of grape soda. 'You know,' he said, taking a large gulp, 'you've been acting really weird recently, Shindou. All snappish and defensive like - not that we are offended or anything, mind you.'

Hikaru gave an almost bitter laugh. 'Touya said that too,' was all he commented before falling silent.

Waya and Isumi exchanged worried glances. Neither liked how Hikaru had been recently, there was always something hollow and haunted about his gaze, but both knew him well enough to realize when their interference was not welcome. All they could do was hope that their friend would not resort to something stupid again, like he was wont to do when upset.

'Well,' Isumi said. 'Whatever the reason, we're not going to ask you about it.' Hikaru gave him a grateful smile, but Isumi had not finished. 'You have to promise me though, that if you ever decide to do something... unusual like trying to prove your point by challenging Touya to a ramen eating competition the last time you got into an argument - which I might also remind you was just last week - promise me that you will come talk to us instead because I really don't think it is a good idea.'

'Not to mention incredibly stupid,' Waya muttered off to the side, pulling a face as he no doubt remembered the whole incident.

Isumi shot him another glare, but Hikaru merely grinned slightly at that, briefly returning to his usual self. 'I've learnt my lesson, Isumi,' he said. 'So you guys don't need to worry. Besides, this is nothing quite like that time, I doubt a ramen eating competition would settle things.' He laughed, but it was a sad sound.

'Well... I suppose that is good?' Waya was not very certain, but he was determined to keep the conversation as light as possible.

Hikaru shrugged. 'Maybe,' he said. Then glancing at the wall clock, added, 'We should return. The organizers will be wondering where we went.'

He turned and walked off after that, leaving Waya and Isumi to share another concerned look before running to catch up with him.

* * *

><p><em>He was in a dream again, and the scenery reminded him of the first one. The same wooden floorboards, the same gardens, but it was still early autumn, around the time he had met Sai and his king, Hikaru guessed.<em>

_The shoji screen on his left was drawn aside this time, and in the room, kneeling upon elaborately embroidered mats were some people gathered around a goban. They were discussing something, and stepping forward, Hikaru realized that he could make out some of the things they were saying._

'_Fujiwara-sama made a really good move here, didn't he?' a young man was saying, eagerly pointing at a formation of white stones near the center of the goban._

'_Yes, yes,' someone else agreed. 'It is a pity the upper right hoshi was left undefended as a result. That lost him two komi.'_

'_But there was no other choice,' the young man was saying again._

'_Oh, I don't know about that,' an old man interrupted. 'Sai-dono might have done better had he played there instead,' he gestured at another spot on the board. 'Taira-sama was only pressuring him to make that move, to draw the attention away from black's weak formation here.' He lightly tapped on two or three stones on the left, and when Hikaru took a few further steps in, he saw that the old man was right._

_This observation caused the others gathered around to begin murmuring amongst themselves, discussing the validity of the old man's comments. While they talked, Hikaru himself had already quickly figured out how the game must have went, including the fact that Sai had lost by three komi._

_This did not sit very well with him, but he also saw that Sai had done the very best anyone could have playing as white in those circumstances, and that Hikaru himself was unlikely to have done much better._

_His conclusion was echoed a few minutes later by the young man, whom Hikaru now realized must be himself a go prodigy despite his overwhelming enthusiasm._

'_That may very well be so,' the old man sighed. 'However this is still not a very good situation.' He seemed more worried than one should be after analyzing a game of go, but before anyone could elaborate further, there was the sound of a soft footstep behind Hikaru, which startled him to turn around._

'_Sai!' he said, surprised, but the other made no sign to have heard._

_Behind him, the people around the goban stood up and bowed. 'Fujiwara-sama,' they greeted._

_Sai smiled. 'No need for that,' he said. 'We are all friends here. Is that not so, sensei?'_

_The old man grunted what could have been an agreement, before motioning to the goban set before him. 'Since you have come, why not come explain this game to us and what you have learnt from it,' he said._

'_Of course,' Sai nodded. 'It will be an honor.'_

_Then he brushed past Hikaru and went to kneel next to his teacher, the group easily parting to make space._

_Watching silently as Sai began to shift several stones and point out the good moves and the mistakes, Hikaru felt something like a pang of regret and wistfulness. There had been a time when he was the one Sai taught in this way, but he saw now that he was never the only one._

I should leave, _he thought, as the discussion around the goban progressed further. _I do not belong here.

_It was as though a merciful kami had heard his request, and the dream began to fade around the edges, lines and colors blurring into a white haze and slowly spreading. Eventually all that was left was Sai with his white fan, and then soon, even that was gone._

* * *

><p>'Why are you here?'<p>

The sudden question surprised him, and Ochi turned around from where he was standing before the doors of the Go Institute.

'Touya Akira,' he said, voice flat.

The other young man lifted an eyebrow at that, gaze silently measuring. 'It is after hours,' he said. 'You should know that.'

And Ochi _did_ know, but that was not why he was here. To be honest, even he himself was not entirely sure what he was doing, except that it was none of Touya Akira's business. 'I could ask the same of you,' he answered shortly.

There was a brief pause, during which Akira's expression seemed to turn thoughtful.

'There is something I want to know,' he said, ignoring Ochi's earlier reply.

'Is it something I can tell you?'

'Yes.'

Ochi smiled faintly, ironically. He thought he knew what it was. 'Does it concern Shindou?'

There was a momentary silence, before Akira answered almost reluctantly, 'Yes.'

The thought of refusing Akira seemed very tempting for the moment, especially since he needed to learn to see others instead of only Hikaru. But Ochi also knew that Akira could be extremely persistent if he liked, besides this was a matter in which he already had the upper hand.

Magnanimity was not in his nature, but the situation promised to be amusing.

With that in mind, he gave a slight nod of his head. 'Very well,' he said. 'What do you wish to know?'

* * *

><p>the ability to transcend the bounds of space and time [end]<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: What a boring chapter.**

**The Taira clan was a clan that existed during the Heian era, alongside the Fujiwara. However, unlike the Fujiwara, they only came into power near the end of the era. Their symbol is a butterfly, known as the Ageha-chō.**

**Se-kari**


End file.
